Searching for gravestone

[pawcarrie]

I am hoping that someone in the Maidstone area of Kent might keep me in mind when they are visiting graveyards.  I am looking for the burial places of James McKay and his wife, Lillian, who lived in at 34 Oaktree Avenue, Sutton Road, Maidstone at the time of their daughter, Margaret's wedding in Feb. 1944. 
Margaret was married at St. Martin's church in Maidstone, so perhaps James and Lillian are bured there.  There was also 2 brothers, Robert James McKay and William Curtis McKay, and a sister, Lizzie, who married James Thurston.

I am in the USA and cannot do this searching for myself.  Thank you all.

[casalguidi]

Hi Pawcarrie

Have you tried contacting Maidstone Borough Council?  Most burials at that date would be in the local borough cemetery for which they hold their own records.

http://www.digitalmaidstone.co.uk/community/crematorium__cemetery.aspx

Casalguidi

Edit - I have just noticed that this is a duplicate posting see http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php/topic,324533.0.html - did you have any luck with Maidstone Borough Council?

[pawcarrie]

Hello Moderator Casalguidi.  Thank you for writing.  I have not myself tried the Maidstone Council.  I have made contact with another RootsChat contributor who has offered to "do the leg work" in Maidstone for me.  She has asked me to be patient (which is soooo hard, but I have learned), so I am waiting to do any inquiring on my own.

I have exchanged email the appropriate office in Maidstone about the possibility of purchasing a marriage certificate copy.  This is more difficult because of the method of payment needed.  As I understand it, they would not accept a personal check written on my bank here is the U.S. A so I will need to supply them with a credit card number.  I am always hesitant to give out a credit card number.  One never knows who can "hack in" in cyberspace and then use my personal info. 

Thank you for understanding, and for trying to help me.  I truly appreciate it.

[SarahinMaidstone]

Hi
I know your message is a bit old now but I noticed it whilst searching for something on the net.
I know the road you are talking about. It is not within walking distance but about 10 mins in the car. There is a grave yard down the road they could be there. But be prepared as I know some years ago a lot of the the stones in that particular Cemetery were vandalised. I would be happy to go and look in that Cemetery if you wanted me too?

[pawcarrie]

Good morning!  Thank you for taking the time to respond to my posting.  I would very much appreciate if you could, at your leisure, of course, take a look at those gravestones.  I will say a prayer that your search is successful.  I simply don't understand what satisfaction anyone gets from vandalizing a cemetery. 

A while back, I received a note from a very nice lady who volunteered going to the cemetery, and also said she had a contacts in both the church office and at the local government office level.  But she also told me she was disabled and was, as I am, a senior citizen.  Since I've heard nothing from her, I can only guess that she became unable to follow through with her actions.  I hope she is OK.

I wish to thank you again, for your efforts to help me in this search.  God bless you.  I will look forward to hearing from you. 

Cordially,
Paulette

[SarahinMaidstone]

Hi Paulette,

I may have some news for you!
I thought that the most sensible thing to do before I went looking around the cemetery was to do a bit of investigation first.
So here goes, this is what I have come up with:-
I checked out the names that you have provided in your original email.
The only James and Lilian McKay who I can find are as follows-
James McKay died in Maidstone July/Aug/Sep 1963 age 78 (b appx 1885)
Lilian McKay died in Maidstone July/Aug/Sep 1961 age 74 (b appx 1887)
I then spoke to Vinters Park Crematorium who deal with all cremations and burials which are only performed now in the one cemetery which is the one on Sutton Road not far from Oaktree Avenue.
I was then told that James McKay died 6th Sept 1963 he was cremated and his ashes are scattered in area 5 in Vinters Park Crematorium.
They could find no trace of Lilian McKay with regards to either burial or cremation taking place in Maidstone.
Between us we came up with a possible conclusion: Lilian died before James and therefore she was probably buried.

[SarahinMaidstone]

cont:

in a pre-purchased grave as was common practice. Sometimes families purchased plots all together. So it may be very difficult to find out where unless you use a process of ellimination where she may have been buried. Maybe there is a common place that her extended family originate from!

Was Margaret born 5th Aug 1921 and married Kevin C Hampshire in 1944.
Can I help you in any other way or can you give me any more info to go on?

Kind Regards

Sarah

[pawcarrie]

Hi Sarah!  You are the best!  Thank you so much for your efforts.  I suspect that what you have found may just be the James and Lillian McKay that were my mother-in-law's parents.  I was told that Lillian died sometime in the '60's and that when Mom (Margaret) received the news, she retreated to her bedroom for the rest of the day and crying could be heard.  But nothing was ever mentioned after that, at least not in front of the children.

I am wondering if there might possibly have been an obiturary/burial article in the local newspaper when James passed.  I don't even know if there was a local newspaper for that area and time.  Does your local library have those type of things on microfilm?  If you could let me know, perhaps I could write and ask them to check for me.  (I hesitate to ask you to do all that because you have already gone far and beyond with your efforts).

Yes, Margaret Ann Sewell McKay did marry Nevin (with an "N", not Kevin with a "K") C. Hampshire at St. Martin's church, Maidstone, on 12 February 1944.  My father-in-law had a very tattered newspaper clipping in his scrapbook describing the wedding.    Mom was attened by Rita Galpin as maid of honor (Rita was Mom's best friend). see next page

[pawcarrie]

(hope this is how this is done) The bride's nephew acted as pageboy, his name was James Thurston.  The bride's neice was Rosemary Thurston.  Oh, and Lillian had a brother named Jack Curtis.  I'm afraid that is all I know for now.  I have emailed one of Mom's many grandchildren in hope to enlist his help in gettng more info from Mom about her parents, but I don't have much hope. She has forgotten so much.

Thanks you again, Sarah. I just don't know how I'd have learned anything without your assistance.  As I said, you are THE BEST!  I'm looking forward to hearing from you again.

God bless,
Paulette